Along The Way: (Don't eat the) Hedgehog!

 

Don't do it like this!

INGREDIENTS

Basic Hedgehog

• 100 g butter
• 395 g sweetened condensed milk
• 150 g dark chocolate
• 250 g plain sweet biscuits crushed (like Arnotts Marie)
• 1/2 cup (50g) desiccated coconut
• 2 tbs cocoa powder
  

Topping (optional)

• 290 g extra dark chocolate
• 2 tbs vegetable oil or coconut oil (optional)

METHOD

Seriously, this recipe is here to demonstrate how NOT to make hedgehog! DON'T DO THIS!

 

1.    Grease and line the base and sides of a 20cm x 30cm slice pan, extending the paper 2cm above the sides of the pan, and set aside. Empty the packet of biscuits into a zip-lock bag, seal it, and beat it with a rolling pin until the biggest pieces are no more than 2-3cm across. You may need to turn the bag a couple of times and take strategic aim at bigger pieces, to avoid ending up with a bag of dust. Set the biscuit bits aside until needed.

 

Basic ingredients

2.    Place the butter, sweetened condensed milk and dark chocolate into a microwave-save bowl. Heat on 50% power for 3-4 minutes or until melted. You don't need to stir frequently with this stage because there's also condensed milk in there. (Compare with step 5.) The chocolate shouldn't cook if you leave it to melt for the full 3-4 minutes. However, when it is melted, stir it all well to bring it together.

Basic mix

3.    Add the crushed biscuits, coconut and cocoa powder, and mix together well. Because of the high chocolate content, be aware that the longer you leave this, the harder it will be to mix well.

4.    Spread the mixture evenly into the prepared tin, pressing down quite firmly. The biscuits are already broken, don't be afraid of breaking them a bit more!

 

Ready to chill

 

5.    If adding optional topping: melt the dark chocolate and vegetable oil in a microwave-safe bowl on 50% power for 3-4 minutes (stirring every 30 seconds), or until just melted. Pour the melted chocolate over the top of the slice.

6. Refrigerate for a minimum of 3 hours.

7. Cut into slices and store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 5 days.

NOTES - 13 October 2020

If you look at enough hedgehog recipes it becomes pretty clear that there as many ways of doing this as could possibly suit the fussiest cook or afficionado. The basic idea, though, is to combine crushed biscuit pieces in a delicious chocolate base, and add whatever takes your fancy to either the slice or the topping. Some hedgehog doesn't even bother with a topping, as I've done in this version, keeping it nice and simple. And those are the watchwords - this is a heat, mix and chill recipe, can be done very quickly with whatever is to hand, and yet be very pleasing.

And yet, this is not a good recipe: it turns out that not all hedgehog recipes are made equal. The chocolate element of this one never really set firmly, which I put down to the condensed milk. It doesn't get cooked, as it does in a caramel slice recipe, so it's only the chilling and the combination with the chocolate that's keeping it from dribbling away. In this form, it was mightily sticky and not an easy slice to deal with in portioning. It was also quite reserved in its flavour, through the use of dark chocolate instead of milk. If chocolate is involved, it should be milk, at least for a standard version. I'll be looking for a better chocolate element recipe before trying this again.

In this version I chose shredded wheatmeal biscuits, partly because there wasn't a close equivalent to what I was looking for on the shelf at the time; to back off the sweetness a bit (because that would be taken care of by other ingredients); and also to ensure that whatever biscuit was in the mix would be pretty robust. This was the wrong idea. The texture was not pleasant, being a bit like that brand of muesli you don't prefer, and it could actually have done with the bit of sweetness I avoided. So, next time it's back to the reliable Marie biscuits.

I also split the recipe to make a fully loaded version (see below), and I thought that would be safe in terms of portion size - specifically, elevation. To do this I simply made a single batch of the basic mix, and used about 2/5 of it packed into a smaller loaf pan for the basic version; I then mixed the extra ingredients into the remaining  3/5 of the basic mix and spread it out into the full size slice pan. I figured adding the extra ingredients would make up for the smaller quantity of basic mix. I was wrong. Both versions turned out disappointingly thin, and I won't be doing that again.

The other thing that's noticeable about hedgehog recipes online is a general ignorance as to its origin. Some claim it's a mystery, or simply unknown, while others aren't even curious. Well, I happen to know a baker of long standing, whose advice is in the title of this recipe, and it is related to the origin of hedgehog. "Don't eat the hedgehog" is what he would tell his wife upon visiting bakeries on their rural and regional holidays, because (as baker's tradition has it) hedgehog is made from whatever is leftover from the morning's baking, and could often include pieces of biscuit swept from the floor! Since hedgehog is not baked, I can see why he gave that advice. These days hedgehog from a bakery should be quite safe, and of course home-made hedgehog is purpose made, without the need for sweepings!

Fully Loaded version

 

Apart from the extra ingredients, DON'T DO THIS!

 

Extra ingredients

• marshmallows, chopped (about 3-4 rough slices through each)
• glacé cherries, chopped (about 2-3 rough slices through each)
• sultanas (handful)
  
• M&Ms (handful)

 

Extra ingredients ready to go

NOTES - 13 October 2020

I made a fully loaded version of this slice on the same day as the basic version, to cater to members of the family who variously did or didn't want fancy hedgehog. You just add the extra ingredients at the same time as the biscuits, coconut and cocoa powder, and mix them evenly through. As noted above, the whole effect was not satisfactory, including its final appearance, and the extra ingredients were the highlight.

As with my advice about hedgehog generally, this can be as plain or as extravagant as you want. It can end up resembling a crazy rocky road, or be a luxurious yet sedate club experience if you wish. The extra ingredients I chose here were simply a flight of fancy. The quantities I've quoted for the extras are necessarily loose, because it's sometimes hard to tell when you're overwhelming the basic hedgehog with too much extra stuff, which may prevent it all from setting together. First time out go a bit conservative, taking note of your quantities, and beef it up next time as appropriate.

Nuts of some sort are often included in hedgehog: walnuts, pecans or brazil nuts all work, nuts which are traditionally salted not so much, like peanuts and cashews. But I excluded nuts because we have nut allergies in our house. Opinions are divided on dried fruit - I quite like it, and you can add bits of dried fig, apricot, or anything really (mango?!), if you're willing to try. On the confectionery side of things, I've added standard M&Ms in this version, but you could do anything from choc chips through to pieces more elaborate manufactured chocolates. Anything in the full range of a traditional Australian lolly-bag could also be used: musk sticks, lolly bananas, fruit jubes, whatever. My only advice is to chop things into manageable portions (no more than 1.5cm across), to ensure you don't choke anyone with your delicious slice.

The same advice goes for the topping. I've left it off for this version, but you can go for a plain solid chocolate top, to ganache or simple icing, to combinations of white chocolate and dark - and decorate it with whatever you will.